Figure 1
story of blarthsday begins in year 1321 in "HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE" where an atheismist monk called doctor garvinus blarthus preached a message of fun and happy !! unfortunately religious powers under pope ruin~a~fun xvi decided to put an end to his chipwhackery and ordered him made dead. goons and nuns were sent to invade his privacy and smite him to doom !! he fled protected by small group of his followers, but they could never stay far ahead of pope's forces; surrounded it was a horrid time indeed !! every time they caught garvinus, they would crucify him a~dead !!! say goodbye to your spine, mister wisely~pantaloons ! this would only happen on thursdays. eventually having been killed too many times, garvinus blarthus succumbed to fate and passed away dead. his final words, as recorded by his followers "chad" and "javier", were as follows thusly (translated from original zippanese):
"remember me as a zilgamensapongoscootscootscootscootscooooooooooo*"
* untranslateable
after that little incident, his followers determined to uphold his memory by, from time to time, replacing those scab-laden thursdays with "saint blarth's day", a day dedicated to his life and works by means of have fun !! over time, they shortened this to blarthsday !!!!
Figure 1
of course, followers still suffered persecution by that blasted papacy (which had since been passed on to pope chug~a~bug xliiiiiiiiivivvvimcv) so they had to practise in secret. over time, blarthsday observance died out.
but now ! with advent of modern technology such as "inter net" and "freedom of speechs" we are able to revive blarthsday observance, the way saint blarth would have wanted ! blarthsday observe was revived in year two thousand six by reverendum adam bunhum o'happytime who currently constitutes the blarthic committee furthermore, we do hereby posit that mr rupert grint is the manifest reincarnation of first apostle of saint blarth and for this reason we honour him with celebratory !!!!!
now you know the story behind saint blarth's memorial day blarthsday !!!!!! you to fun happy.
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